Golden Locket

 
 
If I could wish for anything in the world I'd wish for courage...

Some people even say they admire me... For being able to stand up and read to a group of people. For being able to cosplay in public, and even if I'm not going to a Convention. For being able to dance publicly, and to make a show.

But the truth is... I'm, almost always, scared...

When I read in front of people I can hear that tremble in my voice. It may not be noticeable but as I dance I'm trembling too. If people come up to me and say mean things, it's just the same. But I put up an angry face and pretend to be rude...

My mom scolded me just some days ago... and everytime she does I only look down, and say ''I'm sorry''. But then she started crying, she told me to yell at her, she wanted me to tell her to leave me alone, to get mad, to tell her why I did what I did... but I couldn't... I couldn't even look at her straight in the face. I cried...

I don't want to be like that, but I can't help it... I wish I could smile and be myself. Instead of pretending to be rude...


 
Wish for Courage 11/07/2010
 
If I could wish for anything in the world... I'd wish for Courage.
 
I'm affraid to hurt... I'm affraid to fear... and so, I run away from pain, and well, from my fears...
It's the easier way, and I know it isn't right... but, whenever I try, my body starts shaking, and my tears run down.
 
Brave is not the one who isn't affraid,
Brave is the one who fears but still goes on...